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Ashley B: corporate litigator, arbiter of popular culture, warrior for justice. Read and learn.

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Saturday, January 28, 2006  
On a lighter note, if you haven't seen James Lipton reciting Kevin Federline's "PopoZao" on Conan, you have to.

And I just watched this again for the umpteenth time, and it only gets funnier. It's fucking genius. Such non-menacing hard-core awesome rap about stoned upper west side ny'ers. Snack attack motherfucker. Got that backpack gonna pack it up nice. Throw the snacks in the bag then we're ghost like swazye. you can call us aaron burr from the way we're droppin hamiltons.

11:39 AM

As usual, the Daily Show put it best: "It's the DEATH TO ISRAEL, Stupid!"
And Bush and the media emphasize not the Hamas victory per se, and what that means, but rather democracy: this is what democracy is all about! Whaaaaa? So, now we don't have to save the Palestinians from Hamas, we have to save them from themselves. Oh, that's loads better. Jesus. I mean, remembering the images of those in Gaza celebrating 9/11 on the road with machine guns, those were the same images of the Hamas victory. And though don't get me wrong, it is incredibly disturbing that Hamas won, what may be even more insidious is the reaction of the world, particularly revolting is our media. Emphasizing the democracy, telling us it's been designated as a terrorist organization by the U.S. and Israel almost as a disclaimer and then launching into how Hamas could be taken seriously, legitimately. Even the headline on the newspaper - I forget which - the next day said "Israel refuses to negotiate with radical organization." When it should have said "U.S. and Israel will not negotiate with terrorist regime." It was just so fucking watered-down.
Lest not we forgot, this is the same "radical organization" that opposed the founding of the Palestinian authority under the Oslo accords, and have totally rejected all attempts at a two-state resolution, instead insisting on nothing less than the total obliteration of Israel. It has carried out its campaign for power by suicide bombing Israeli citizens over the last decade and more. It even did it on the eve where peacenik Peres was predicted to take power, so that instead the war-loving Netanyahu would be in control, assuring no peace.
Hamas leadership since election has already asked the United States to ask Israel to move out of Gaza, the West Bank, and oh, yeah, Jerusalem. Fucking hell.
THERE IS NO SILVER LINING! Wake up and smell the shits creek.
And I am not even going to touch Iran here, well only a nudge. It is so horrible that through Iraq the U.S. has lost virtually all capital to say what's what, let alone force it, in the Middle East. No one will listen to us anymore because we are proven assholes who don't get it. Why is everyone in power a jingoistic bellicose motherfucker? So what if we're clearly right this time. No one wants to listen to an asshole, even if he's right. The only thing I can realistically picture is Israel leading some sort of military strike and us joining them. But now they've got Iran and the lunatics of Hamas and who knows who else? It's not good.
Where has my Clinton gone? I know that man is a jerk, but that's different than an asshole. At least he wanted to bring the world together rather than take it apart. I can't help wishing he were back in power right now. I'll even take him as the First Man, just like on TV. Pwetty pwease? Who knows, maybe I'm wrong and Bush will be able to broker an acceptable Palestinian state for all, kind like, um, exactly the one Clinton proposed after Camp David before he left office - Gaza, most of the West Bank, and though it pains me, a shared capital of the big J. It's just that bigger J's won't take that I don't think, and neither will crazy Hamas. In my not-so-humble opinion, they will probably have to do some serious battle before they learn what WOPR learned in "War Games" at the last moment: "Strange Game. The only way to win is not to play at all."

11:07 AM

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