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Ashley B: corporate litigator, arbiter of popular culture, warrior for justice. Read and learn.

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Saturday, January 28, 2006  
On a lighter note, if you haven't seen James Lipton reciting Kevin Federline's "PopoZao" on Conan, you have to.

And I just watched this again for the umpteenth time, and it only gets funnier. It's fucking genius. Such non-menacing hard-core awesome rap about stoned upper west side ny'ers. Snack attack motherfucker. Got that backpack gonna pack it up nice. Throw the snacks in the bag then we're ghost like swazye. you can call us aaron burr from the way we're droppin hamiltons.

11:39 AM

As usual, the Daily Show put it best: "It's the DEATH TO ISRAEL, Stupid!"
And Bush and the media emphasize not the Hamas victory per se, and what that means, but rather democracy: this is what democracy is all about! Whaaaaa? So, now we don't have to save the Palestinians from Hamas, we have to save them from themselves. Oh, that's loads better. Jesus. I mean, remembering the images of those in Gaza celebrating 9/11 on the road with machine guns, those were the same images of the Hamas victory. And though don't get me wrong, it is incredibly disturbing that Hamas won, what may be even more insidious is the reaction of the world, particularly revolting is our media. Emphasizing the democracy, telling us it's been designated as a terrorist organization by the U.S. and Israel almost as a disclaimer and then launching into how Hamas could be taken seriously, legitimately. Even the headline on the newspaper - I forget which - the next day said "Israel refuses to negotiate with radical organization." When it should have said "U.S. and Israel will not negotiate with terrorist regime." It was just so fucking watered-down.
Lest not we forgot, this is the same "radical organization" that opposed the founding of the Palestinian authority under the Oslo accords, and have totally rejected all attempts at a two-state resolution, instead insisting on nothing less than the total obliteration of Israel. It has carried out its campaign for power by suicide bombing Israeli citizens over the last decade and more. It even did it on the eve where peacenik Peres was predicted to take power, so that instead the war-loving Netanyahu would be in control, assuring no peace.
Hamas leadership since election has already asked the United States to ask Israel to move out of Gaza, the West Bank, and oh, yeah, Jerusalem. Fucking hell.
THERE IS NO SILVER LINING! Wake up and smell the shits creek.
And I am not even going to touch Iran here, well only a nudge. It is so horrible that through Iraq the U.S. has lost virtually all capital to say what's what, let alone force it, in the Middle East. No one will listen to us anymore because we are proven assholes who don't get it. Why is everyone in power a jingoistic bellicose motherfucker? So what if we're clearly right this time. No one wants to listen to an asshole, even if he's right. The only thing I can realistically picture is Israel leading some sort of military strike and us joining them. But now they've got Iran and the lunatics of Hamas and who knows who else? It's not good.
Where has my Clinton gone? I know that man is a jerk, but that's different than an asshole. At least he wanted to bring the world together rather than take it apart. I can't help wishing he were back in power right now. I'll even take him as the First Man, just like on TV. Pwetty pwease? Who knows, maybe I'm wrong and Bush will be able to broker an acceptable Palestinian state for all, kind like, um, exactly the one Clinton proposed after Camp David before he left office - Gaza, most of the West Bank, and though it pains me, a shared capital of the big J. It's just that bigger J's won't take that I don't think, and neither will crazy Hamas. In my not-so-humble opinion, they will probably have to do some serious battle before they learn what WOPR learned in "War Games" at the last moment: "Strange Game. The only way to win is not to play at all."

11:07 AM

Tuesday, January 17, 2006  
Well it has been a loooooong time and I thought this might be gone for good. BUT I GUESS NOT. My longtime advisors have, well, advised I take it up again. For all thoughts AB.

Well, on my mind are two things right now: hatin' on work and the hollywood awards season. And a few others things related to my impending nuptuals, but more things tangientally related: like, how things that are supposed to be easy and joyful end up being a chore, how even when things are supposed to be done for you you end up in the annoying know about everything going on, including rudeness and people who make the event all about them so you don't even feel like doing it anymore. Do I sound bitter? Good. Because I f'in am.

A bit. I'm also a lucky bitch, but currently an angry one at the present writing moment. I just wish I was one of those sweet brides that everyone wants to do EVERYTHING for and keep clueless like: don't you worry about a thing! it's all taken care of..." Instead of what I've got, which are guests asking me point blank how much it will cost them for this big trip, i.e. two nights in Vegas. Gimme a break, come on, Nell Carter, what does it take?

So, on a lighter note, I rushed home last night to catch my annual whiff of the Golden Globes, which really are equivalent to an important NFL playoff game if you ladies need to justify to your man why you must watch it. I enjoyed the following: Scarlett Johanson's boobage, Geena Davis's admittedly fake story about the little girl tugging on her dress and saying she inspired her to be president (note: Geena Davis is not usually one to impress me), Steve Carell winning for the Office, Brokeback Mountain winning - but if you ask me, Heath wuz robbed. that philip seymour hoffman used to be so cool, but now he is just so pretentious and his speech was the epitome of pretentiousness. It was not interesting in the least. Just kind of blase thanking people. At least Ang Lee said some nice stuff about the other nominees. And Heathie was my favorite thing about the movies this year. I just loved Brokeback. That last line - "Jack, I swear..." OUCH that friggin cut me. I was bawling outside the Embarcadero Center against Ben's shoulder for so long he asked me if I was okay to drive. So anyway. Um. I thought that Gwyneth looked hideous and turned into her mother's weird English sister overnight. Hilary Swank looked sexy. The Desparate Housewives Juggernaut has GOT to be stopped. I liked that mary louise parker won for Weeds, because that has got to be the best show that no one is watching. Just brilliant. I liked seeing mandy moore and zach braff looking beautiful and bored. Hate them. Amused seeing Ryan Phillippe act like he was on steroids. Loved seeing Hugh Laurie really annoyed that Evangeline Lilly from Lost screwed up his name (and PISSED that stupid Jamie Foxx or something screwed up laura linney's name calling her laura linsey.). So yeah. Prelude to the Oscars.
If I had my own categories, or if I could nominate:....

Brokeback Mountain
Good Night and Good Luck
Walk the Line
Match Point

Heath Ledger, Brokeback Mountain (should win)
David Straithairn, Good Night and Good Luck
Russell Crowe, Cinderella Man (he's just really good)
Joaquin Phoenix, Walk the Line
Bruno Ganz, Downfall
Runner Up: Bill Murray, Broken Flowers and Christian Bale, Batman Begins

Laura Linney, The Squid and the Whale
Reese Witherspoon, Walk the Line
Naomi Watts, King Kong (I really bought that she loved the f'in ape)
Rachel McAdams, Red Eye
Kate Hudson, the Skeleton Key

George Clooney, Syriana
George Clooney, Good Night and Good Luck
Chris Cooper, Syriana
Brian Cox, Match Point
William Hurt, A History of Violence
Runner Up: Cillian Murphy, Batman Begins

Ginnifer Goodwin, Walk the Line
Michelle Williams, Brokeback Mountain
Jessica Lange, Broken Flowers
Catherine Keener, The Forty Year Old Virgin
Dakota Fanning, War of the Worlds

5:44 PM

Friday, December 17, 2004  
to be expanded
and this is only what i saw
Best Films of the Year
Finding Neverland
Before Sunset
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
The Village
Bad Santa
Open Water
the school of rock
Worst Films of the Year
Dirty Dancing 2: Havana Nights
Most Overated Film of the Year
Three-way Tie! Sideways, Garden State & Closer
Most Underrated Film of the Year
Most Underrated Performance of the Year
Val Kilmer as Alexander's pappy king in Alexander
Guiltiest Pleasure Films of the Year
13 going on 30
National Treasure
the day after tomorrow (the killer wolves were AWESOME)
Most Disappointing
Tie again: Alexander & Vanity Fair

4:39 PM

Tuesday, August 31, 2004  
At home sick with a cold, and just saw a "tease" for the 5 o clock news. "The Republican Covention is in full swing... President Bush clarifies his position on the war on terror..." I just had to laugh. What position? Let me sum it up: "We will win". Delivered in that annoying meaningless football team monotone voice. The problem is, who is "we" and what is "win"? Hmm? That is a position. We will win is just so freaking dumb. It's not a position. It's rhetoric pure and through. "We" and what "win" is... those are the issues he needs to clarify, but he doesn't, and another chapter is written about crap yet again. i can't stand how hollow it all is. bono is on o'reilly tomorrow night. that i want to see. "we will win." come on!! it's on a par with the depth of an episode of "the nanny."

Ben and I just had a wonderful vacation in New England end of summer haze daze with ice cream and beautiful drives and villages and ice cream and mountain hikes and jumps in the pool and board games and jacuzzis and cute little black bear clubs and ice cream and crossword puzzles and other not to be mentioned activities. did i mention ice cream? Can I just say this: I love Friendlys. It is such a great establishment. Kudos to them for remaining the same great place to get that Diet Coke, Grilled Cheese that its always been. We saw some hicks, pottery, old hikers with lots of ball sweat, boulders, cushy robes, the olympics (wasn't that great this year? who knew i could be so mesmerized by sychronized diving?), rack o lamb, ridges with views of rivers, canadian oreos, singing "sussudio" at full pitch with the cheesy best of phil collins cd i had to have (so good!), driving round taking in gorgeous greens and roads, breakfast room service (Palace prices were ri-fucking-diculous), nice dinners, nice lunches, eagles soaring... literally - a boat on the golden pond lake - aka Squam Lake, took us to the eagle nesting area and eagles soared above us. And I saw where Jane Fonda skinny dipped for the movie. and water sparkled, my personal favorite. I love the New England New Hampshire accent. Ben went to town with it, and man does he role play well. Its scary good. Covered bridge land is good land in my esteem. Got to escape it all but then got sick on the plane back from a gross guy with a horrific cold that drenched wet snot all over his face, hands, seats, it was truly disgusting. and i got a cold sore throat. so I spend the day after vacation sick. nice. poor ben has no choice and has to work and feel shitty and for that he has my empathy, pity, respect, all of it. I love that man.

7:59 PM

Thursday, August 12, 2004  
Sometimes the hawks really bother me - the pundits - the venom from both sides Democrat or Republican. But I wonder about this one story... It just comes down to the two parties seeing the world in very different ways. and this is an important paradigm shift phase of the world... going from nation-state industrialism to global information economy... I kind of want Clinton back, although you didn't hear me say that.

President Bush has said that Rep. Porter Goss is "the right man" to lead the CIA - but as of five months ago, the nominee didn't think he was even qualified to work there.
The Florida Republican told filmmaker Michael Moore in March, "It is true I was a case officer, clandestine services officer, and yes, I do understand the core mission of the business. But I couldn't get a job with the CIA today. I am not qualified."
Goss, who went on to become a multimillionaire and then a congressman after leaving his job as an agent, explained: "I don't have the language skills.
I, you know, my language skills were Romance languages and stuff. We're looking for Arabists today. I don't have the cultural background, probably.
"And I certainly don't have the technical skills, uh, as my children remind me every day, 'Dad you got to get better on your computer.'
"Uh, so, the things that you need to have, I don't have."
Moore interviewed Goss, the chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, for his documentary "Fahrenheit 9/11." This part was edited out, but Moore still has all the footage.
Goss faces tough criticism in the confirmation process from colleagues like Rep. Nancy Pelosi and Sen. Jay Rockefeller, who agree that he is not qualified.

11:39 AM

This story is incredible to me. I would say what are the chances, but hell, I don't know about chances anymore.

LONDON, England (AP) -- British Home Secretary David Blunkett said Thursday he plans to bar convicted felons from benefiting from financial windfalls while behind bars after a jailed rapist won £7 million ($12.6 million) on the national lottery.

Blunkett said that proposed legislation before parliament would force offenders who won the lottery or other wealthy criminals to contribute to a compensation fund for victims of crime.

His comments follow public outrage in Britain over the lottery win of convicted rapist Iorworth Hoare, who was on day release from his low-security prison when he bought the winning ticket on Saturday.

11:32 AM

Tuesday, August 10, 2004  
"Joy to the world..." I am singing that tune, but not for religious reasons. Not. at. all. quite the opposite. joy is going to come to be via the medium of TLC, who is signing BOBBY TRENDY (girls scream!), the world's most insane queen, to a new reality show called the designer. Don't know bobby trendy? Remember the insane "luxurious!!" designer from the Anna Nicole Smith show? That's him. I'm so happy about it. It's kind of a rumor right now (gawker the source) but oh pleeease let it be true!

I tried to set up two friends last night, and no sparks flew, and I felt weird in the middle. I don't like playing matchmaker. I like when things happen naturally.

I am stoked to come to NYC. last night as I hailed a cab, I was like, this is just not the same feeling I get of comfort when I hailed a cab in NYC at the end of a long night and saw it pulling over, my hand still up - feeling so in control and taken care of. That sounds really dumb, but I'm fucking looking forward to hailing a cab, okay? Strange days. I loved that feeling of driving off in a cab, homeward bound, watching the lights of the city go by, the storefronts, the streets. I dug it. New York got in my blood like that.

1:13 PM

Monday, August 09, 2004  
Can I hate Maureen Dowd with an irrational passion and still be a good liberal girl?

I hope so. She is so annoying!@!! Full of hyperbole and annoyingness. I miss Anna Q.
I am reading the birth of venus. loves it.
the secretary with the kitten pictures now has a cute bunny as well. all ears.
miss my benny bunny.

3:09 PM

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